WHAT I HAD ALWAYS WANTED     By Mark

Ever since I can remember women's clothing has fascinated me. I just enjoy
exploring my feminine side in the privacy of my own home. This was
especially easy because of my older sister Ann. Like most teenage girls she
had lots of clothes. Mom always bought her lots of great dresses and skirts
but Ann would rarely wear them. Not that she was a tomboy or anything, she
just happened to prefer pants. This, however, gave me an opportunity to, ah,
borrow her clothes when I was alone at home and to try them on. When I was
sure that I would be alone for a long time, I would get dressed as a girl
all the way. I really enjoyed those times. As far as I was concerned, my
cross-dressing was a harmless little hobby that I enjoyed in my spare time
in the privacy of my own home. Of course I didn't want anyone to catch me.
My sister would never stop making fun of mom and me and dad would have a
fit. So I just remained careful and discreet and nothing wrong happened
until I was fifteen. I had finished school early one Friday and I knew that
Ann or my parents would not be home for another four hours. This was an
excellent opportunity to dress up. I put on a pair of panties, bra, shear
black pantyhose, a short black skirt, a red shirt and a pair of black pumps.
I then spent a half-hour fixing my hair and applying make up. I had been
cross-dressing for five years so I was quite good at making myself up, well,
for a guy at least. Satisfied with my appearance, I minced into the kitchen,
made myself a sandwich and then went to the living room to watch TV. I was
so engrossed with the television show I was watching that I didn't hear the
car pull up into the driveway. My mom had forgotten something important and
was back home early. I didn't even hear her as she walked through the door.
When she saw me from the back watching TV she thought I was one of my female
friends who was visiting me. She said hello and I froze. I have never been
so embarrassed in my life. She figured out who it really was and went crazy.
I told her everything, how I enjoyed dressing up like a girl in my spare
time. My mother said I was disgusting and continued yelling. She told that
now I was really in trouble and that my dad would kill me. Immediately I
realized dad would be home and I begged my mother to allow me to change back
into boy's clothes. She refused. I had to sit in the kitchen in dread for
three hours and wait for my father. Finally he arrived. He flipped out too.
He made me promise never ever to wear girls' clothes. My mother wasn't
satisfied. She said that she didn't believe my promise and she suspected
that I would merely go back to my habit but would just be more careful. She
had a different punishment in mind. Since I loved dressing up like a girl so
much, she would see to it that I got a chance to dress up often. In fact,
she said, I would dress up so often that I would become sick of it and would
never want to touch women's clothing again. Mortified, I listened as my
sentence was passed. I was to dress up like a girl all the time except for
school. I nearly fainted. So it was that when my sister came home later she
found me stilled dressed up as a girl. My mother told her about my
punishment. Ann just started laughing at me. From now on the family would
refer to me as Karen instead of Mark. Ann continued laughing. She noted that
I looked cute and very feminine, which due to my moderate height and slim
figure, I really do. Doubtless I could really make a man happy. My mother
told Ann to hold that thought. Humiliated, I went to sleep early but only
after changing into a shimmering sleeveless silk nightgown. The next day I
woke up. Ann showed me how to shave all the hair off my body. She then
dressed me in panties, a bra, pantyhose, skirt and blouse. She then showed
me how to do my makeup and fix my hair. I was horrified when my mother told
me that we were going to the mall. Desperately I begged her not to humiliate
me publicly. I only liked dressing up privately. I didn't hurt anyone, why
was I being punished? My father explained that I was doing something
unnatural and that this would show me my place. He watched sternly as my
mother and sister helplessly dragged me to the car. We went of to the mall.
First we went to a hair salon and got my shoulder length hair dyed a golden
blonde. Great, how would I explain that to the guys in school? Then we got
my ears pierced. The process didn't last long but it did sting. Soon I had
three studs in each ear. That was another thing I would have to explain at
school. Then we went to buy clothes for me. My mother bought a whole new
wardrobe for me. I could have died as we walked into all these women's
clothing stores and mom and Ann told the pretty sales girls ALL about me, my
punishment and why I was being punished. They all laughed at me. Then we
went to eat. I was a bit rusty the first time I went out in public as a
girl. Many women seemed to easily see through my disguise and I drew many
stares. I also drew many stares of a different nature from the men. I hated
those. When we got home my mother and sister spent hours making me practice
walking and talking as a girl. As I angrily complained they asked me if when
I went out in public, which would be often, I would like everyone to know my
real gender. That made me shut up as I quickly became more adept at acting
feminine. When they were done I went down to where dad was. He made me strut
around for him. He sneeringly remarked that I was really hot and would make
a good lay. It was obvious that he no longer respected me anymore. I also
found that dad had locked away all my boy's clothes. I would only get those
for school. My closets were now filled with dresses, skirts and lingerie
while I had several pairs of heels. I asked my mother how long this
punishment would last. She answered me. " You're manhood is now on trial.
When you prove to me that you are really a man then I'll believe that you
have overcome your perverted habit. If you do not prove your manhood then
something else will be done. We're doing this for your own good. We will not
allow you to be a perverted faggot and freak for the rest of your life. You
are either a man or a woman. Now we'll find out which one you are. " She did
not say anything more. So began my new life. In school I was a boy. I was
able to convince my friends that I shaved my legs because I was on a swim
team. As for the blonde hair and earrings, I merely said that I was
experimenting with a new style. I would get up in the morning and get my
clothes for the day from mom. Then I would go to school. As soon as school
was over I had to come home and then I was back in dresses until the next
school day. Mom and Ann would often have me run errands or take me out in
public. It was absolutely humiliating. At home all the housework was given
to me. I virtually became a maid. My social life died, as I no longer would
hang out with my friends. So did my sex life. That was really frustrating.
Don't let my habit fool you. I love girls. I've dated quite a bit and I have
the usual sex drive of a healthy teenage male. It drove me nuts. Now I no
longer went out. Except when Ann took me bar hopping as a girl. That was
horrible. In a tight short skirt and high heels I attracted a lot of
attention. Ann made me dance with some guys, but other then that she didn't
force me into anything. Women's clothing was also very uncomfortable. It
was one thing to wear them now and again around the house, it's another
story to dress up for a long time. High heels made my feet ache. The panties
were too tight. The pantyhose itched, in the summer they were too hot while
in the winter they hardly afforded adequate protection against the cold. The
short tight skirts I was forced to wear only allowed me to take short small
steps and I had to make sure that I didn't expose my panties. The bra really
irritated my chest and I could never get used to the falsies that I had to
wear so that it looked like I had breasts. Changes around the house
continued. Slowly my room was redecorated. My old blue bedspread and drapes
were removed. So were my posters of athletes and half-naked models. In their
place came pink sheets and drapes. I got new pink wallpaper. Posters of
ballerinas and cats were put up on my wall. So was a poster of a topless
muscular male model, a gift from Ann. Thanks a lot sis. Female vocalists and
male pop groups that the girls at school gushed over replaced my alternative
and hard rock CD's. I was getting everything a normal teenage girl could
ever want. Except that I was not a normal teenage girl. Photographs of "
Mark " were removed and replaced by photographs of " Karen. " My mother and
sister taught how to raise my voice by one octave and to speak with a
girlish lisp. Whenever I was at home I had to talk like a girl. After a few
months everyone got used to having me around dressed like a girl. Indeed, if
you had known you would think that I was a perfectly natural female. My dad,
who had snubbed me for a month, soon seemed to warm to his new daughter. He
always called me Karen and treated me as if I had always been a girl. Mom in
the meantime was a harsh taskmaster who made sure I stayed in character.
After initially making fun of me Ann soon appeared to get used to my new
appearance and soon began not noticing it at all. Most of the time in
private she referred to me as Mark. She was the only one in my entire family
that I liked being around. Fall turned to winter and winter to spring. I
began to hear rumors through Ann that mom and dad were beginning to think
that it was time to see if I deserved a reprieve. On the last day of school,
me and some of my friends had a panty raid on the girls' locker rooms. We
brought a camera with us and took some very revealing photographs of some of
my sisters closest friends, which we then spread all over school. While the
school never did catch us, my sister found out that I was involved in the
panty raid and demanded that I apologize. I refused and made fun of her
because of it. " Well, if that's the case I'll get you back Karen, " she
laughed. I did not think much of this because I was sure that mom and dad
would let me go back to being a boy for the summer. The day after the last
day of school, I was called into the living room for a family meeting. As
usual, I was dressed like a girl. On the table were a bottle of glue and
strange steel sheathe with two thin chains attached to it. " Karen, " began
my mother, " this is a family meeting to decide your future concerning this
punishment. We must decide for your own good whether you will now go back to
being a man or whether we will move on to the punishment's second stage. You
will have no say in this. I don't believe that you are in a position to
judge clearly. We as impartial observers will judge. " Normally I would have
bellowed I should decide for myself but I was by now used to demurely doing
what I was told. My father spoke first. " I think we should end this
punishment. I don't think Mark will ever want to touch women's clothing
again. He has constantly shown that he does not enjoy wearing women's
clothes and finds them uncomfortable. He's definitely a man. " Mom did not
agree. " Look how well those clothes fit. How he talks and walks like a
girl. These feminine tendencies of his are very deep. Look how he now sits
quietly while we decide his fate. If he were really a man he would be
yelling his head off. Outside no one can distinguish him from a woman. He's
very attractive and draws the attention of all the men. Mark is obviously
meant to be a young attractive young lady whether he wants to admit it or
not. Whatever he may say because of society's influence. This is obvious to
any impartial person who can observe him now. " Deadlock. My parents turned
to my sister. Ann was obviously just there to give advice and contribute her
opinion. Normally nothing she would say would decide anything; this was my
parent's decision. But now that they were at an impasse they asked Ann what
she thought. I was overjoyed. Ann would surely tell mom that I should go
back to being a boy. Instead Ann got me back for the panty raid by making
sure that I would stay in panties for a lot longer. " I agree with mom. Not
only that, but Mark has told me that he will continue dressing like a girl
in private and that he is happy that this punishment gave him so much
experience. Not only that, he told me that he likes the attention he gets
from men and will remember to experiment with them in the future. " That
decided it. Dad looked disappointed. He got up and left the room. Mom
ordered me to strip. I told her emphatically that Ann was lying but she
didn't believe me. Once all my clothes were off Ann took some glue and stuck
my falsies to my chest. Mom said that she had the solution that would negate
the glue and that she would only apply it when she thought I could be a man
again. Then mom placed the steel sheathe over my penis. Pushing my testicles
back into my body she pulled the two chains through my legs, pulling my
penis securely between my legs. She then pulled the chains through my ass
crack and around my waist, closing them with a small lock. I would now have
to sit in order to urinate. There would be no more telling bulge in front of
my panties. Worse of all, I would not be able to have an erection. In fact,
having an erection would be painful. My mother sent me to my room to pack.
We were going to my family's country house where I would live the entire
summer only as a girl. Once we got to the country house things went from bad
to worse. My mother got a prescription for female hormones. I began to get
thinner everywhere except for my hips which began to swell. Worse of all,
Ann found me a boyfriend in the nearby town. He was skinny and not a
good-looking man at all. He was really horny though and jumped at the
opportunity to go out with the attractive hot young blonde he thought I was.
He was a real jerk. During the first three dates it was all I could do to
keep him from ripping off my clothes and discovering that I was really a
boy. This was crazy, my family could not making me act like a homosexual. At
fist I started making plans to run away and go to the police to complain
about child abuse. But then I realized that this would mean total public
humiliation for myself and my family, so I decided that it would be better
to bide my time. When I complained to mom that I could not hold off Leslie's
(my boyfriend) advances anymore. My mother told me to suck his cock. That
way I could satisfy him without removing my clothes. I was a girl now so it
was something I was supposed to love. I felt disgusted. But one night as I
was alone with Leslie in his car he went berserk He lifted up my skirt and
was ready to rip off my panties and panty hose. He was virtually threatening
to rape me. Desperately I went down on my knees and opened his zipper.
Taking his cock out, I kissed it and took it into my mouth. Using my tongue
and lips I made him hard. As his dick grew I nearly gagged. I felt like
throwing up as it was. Finally he came in my mouth and I had to swallow his
salty white cum. I felt like throwing up. From then on mom made sure that I
satisfied Leslie adequately. According to Leslie, I was an amazing
cocksucker. Ann asked me for my method, although she told me that she hated
oral sex but thought it was worth while to know anyway. She thought oral sex
and cock sucking was kind of kinky. It was something kinky girls like me,
her little sister, did. While Leslie was having a grand time I was getting
more and more frustrated. I could not have an erection, let alone cum. Just
looking at a girl caused my penis to strain against the sheathe, causing me
excruciating pain. It drove me nuts that a wimp like Leslie was being
granted continuous sexual gratification while someone like me couldn't even
bear to look at a woman anymore because this would cause my penis to begin
swelling. I had to train myself to stop thinking about hot women and to stop
staring at hot women, which was probably exactly what mom wanted. All my
pathetic attempts to break the sheath's lock failed. In the meantime I was
being forced to play the role of a girl with Leslie it was becoming too much
to bear. The hormone pills were making my body more and more girlish. My
mother monitored how much I was eating and forced me to eat only small
amounts of food in order to " keep my figure. " This made me hungry all the
time. On top of all this I was still expected to do the cooking and
housework. All my pleading for this process to stop fell on deaf ears. I
told mom angrily that a psychologist, not her, should decide whether I was
male or female. Mom agreed and told me that she had already contacted some
doctors who would deal with my case. I was happy, now they would explain
that I had only been going through a stage and that my habit was a small
thing. They would make mom treat me like a boy. Mom had other things in
mind. Mom had indeed contacted some doctors. She had called Dr. Elaine
Short, a young inexperienced plastic surgeon just out of med-school who
wanted to open her own private practice and greatly appreciated ANY job she
could find, she also appreciated the large amount of money my parents, who
were not poor at all, threw at her. She had also called Dr. Richard Benson,
veteran psychologist who was extremely fascinated with my case. He was a
sexologist who eagerly wanted to examine a case of a boy being turned into a
girl. How this would affect him/her. He was also quite impressed with the
money my parents gave him. So it was that one day I was taken to the
hospital for a check up. I was rather nervous when the doctor, Dr. Short,
checked my identification. My I.D. listed me as male, but Dr.Short didn't
seem to mind. She injected me with what she told me was a vaccine. It was
really anesthetic. As I began to get drowsy and dose off, the last thing I
remember seeing was a blurry picture of Dr.Short looking down at me with
sympathy and muttering to herself, " it's amazing in the end what I'll do
for money. " When I woke up some time later, something felt different. My
chest. I had breasts! Dr.Short had given me implants. They weren't obscenely
big but they were large enough to make most of the girls in my class
envious. I was stunned. This could not be happening. I wanted to make a
scene, I should have made a scene, but I was too stunned. My mother took me
home. I merely sat in the car quietly, staring out the window. How could
they do this to me? When we got home I ran to my room and stayed there. I
only came out to fix dinner and then left without eating anything. Not that
mom let me eat much anyway. This was permanent. This showed me that this was
no longer some messed up punishment meant to exhaust any girlish tendencies.
My parent's believed that I wanted to be a girl deep down inside. What made
things worse was that everyone acted as though nothing was wrong. As if it
was perfectly normal for me to have breasts. The next day I was alone with
dad. He asked me if everything was okay and how the breasts felt. I told him
that I didn't want to have breasts. I demanded to be taken to a
psychologist. My dad agreed and I was taken to Dr. Benson. Leslie, of
course, was thrilled with the change. Up until now. I had only let him touch
my breasts through my shirt. If they were under my shirt, my falsies could
pass for real breasts. Now of course, I didn't need falsies to fill my bra
since I had breasts. This meant I could go topless in front of Leslie and
let him play with my breasts all he wanted. That was the one advantage about
getting implants. It really did feel good when someone played with them. If
they hadn't been associated with so much humiliation, I may have actually
enjoyed them. Mom now saw to it that I showed up at the beach regularly
wearing string bikinis so I could show off my lovely cleavage. I continued
meeting with Dr.Benson. I told him that I did not want to become a girl.
That I only had a tiny curiosity about girl's clothing. That I was totally
heterosexual and utterly loved my penis and wanted without any doubt to be a
man. Dr. Benson was very polite and listened to me. Then he went to write
his report. He said that I had a deep subliminal desire to be a woman. That
I would be happier in the long run as a woman. That the only reason why I
claimed to want to be a man was because I was afraid of what my friends
might think. That despite my verbal claims that I wanted to be a man, my
actions clearly indicated that I was a woman deep down inside. I fit
perfectly into the feminine role. I totally looked, talked and walked like a
girl. He said I was enjoying a healthy relationship with Leslie and that I
excelled as the girl in a relationship, making a subtle reference to my cock
sucking abilities. Finally, he wrote that I was overjoyed to have breasts
and that I loved playing with them. This was followed up by mom's testimony.
She had caught me playing with my breasts on more than one occasion. I mean,
what else did they expect me to do with my dick tied up as it was, a guy had
to find relief somehow. Of course Ann, who never seemed to mature and didn't
seem to understand that this was my life she was playing with, remembered to
throw in enough imaginary stories about me telling her how desperately I
wanted to be a girl and how I was totally crazy about Leslie. She was still
pissed off about the panty raid and the naked photos of her friends. Her
friends' reputations were now totally ruined and some had been expelled. So
she was getting me back. My parents of course believed everything she said
and this seemed to strengthen my mother's resolve to feminize me and my
father no longer tried to restrain her. So it was that my family with the
help of Dr. Benson and some more money thrown in on the side got my birth
certificate changed. I was no longer listed as a boy named Mark but as a
girl named Karen. All my i.d. was changed. I was not informed of this and I
would only find out at the end of the summer. So it was that at the end of
August my father announced that soon we were returning home. As mom and Ann
began packing, all I could do was stare at my bumpy chest and ponder the
consequences of all this. My dad told me not to worry and to be brave, they
had taken care of everything and soon my ordeal would be over and he felt
sure that I would be much happier. I hugged my dad. Ever since I had gotten
my breasts he was always being very nice to me. Just that he kept treating
me as if I was his daughter, " daddy's little girl. " I just would have
prefered to play baseball with him or any of the other things fathers
normally did with their sons. Before we left I said good bye to Leslie. I
had to act as though I was sad to see him go and wrote him a really mushy
love letter. Actually I was thrilled to get away from him. I hated being the
girl in a relationship. Throughout the summer it seemed as though I could
never get the salty taste of his cock and cum out of my mouth no matter what
I tried. We got back home and now I was nervous. What was I going to do
about school? I couldn't go dressed like this. I hoped that my parent's were
just trying to scare me and would soon call off this ridiculous punishment
and get my implants taken out, if possible. That didn't happen. The one
thing that did happen was that my mother let me remove my penis sheathe
after having it locked on for nearly two and a half months. I really felt
relieved and I masturbated like crazy that night. Soon I would be starting
grade 11.School came around and it was quite clear that I would be going
back to school as a girl. That would be too much. I ranted and raved and
cried but it did no good. I found myself walking to Weatherton High School
with my sister. I wasn't wearing my usual usual uniform which was made up of
grey pants and white shirt and tie with a blazer. Instead I was wearing the
girl's uniform, a short plaid skirt and black pantyhose and the school
sweater. My sense of dread continued to grow until I reached school. As I
walked inside, I was relieved to see that none of my friends were around. I
picked up my usual locker. Eventually some of my friends started arriving.
It took them a while to recognize me. When they did they were quite shocked.
Worse part of all was that I had no answer to their question: " Why are you
dressed like that? " All I could do was stare down at the floor and mumble
something about my parents punishing me and hope that the ground would
swallow me. I went to my first class. It was hellish. The whole class was
staring at me. The girls giggled and snickered while the guys eyed me with
curiosity and malice. After the first class, the principal called me into
his office. He explained to me that my parent's had consulted the school
about my transformation. It was then that I found out that all my i.d. had
been changed and that I would now be enrolled in school as a girl.
Apparently my parents had told the school that I wanted to be a girl and
that I was in the midst of gender reassignment. The school had been very
understanding. The principal promised to help me any way possible. All I
could do was mumble my thanks as my face turned bright red. That afternoon,
the principal took me to every single classroom. He had me explain to all
the students that I was changing from boy to a girl and that I would now be
using the girl's bathrooms and that if there were some girls who did not
feel comfortable with this arrangement, there were some bathrooms that I
would not be allowed to use. I would now take gym with the girls in my
class. I was humiliated in front of the whole school. There were several
reactions to all of this. Some people went out of their way to support me.
Some just expressed their understanding. Others were hostile and some, among
them some of my closest friends, were downright violent. Many were just
plain curious. My mom made me drop all my science courses, saying that this
would cloud my sexual development. This was a great blow to me because I
always had wanted to go into the sciences and to become an engineer of some
sort, I liked to build things. Instead I took home economics, which I was
very good at since I had been doing all the house work at home for the past
year. My mother got me to join the cheerleading squad. I used to be a great
fan at sporting events in school. I had been on the basketball team two
years ago and was fairly good at the game. Now athletic events became a time
of dread since it meant I would have to jump around in front of everyone
wearing a mini-skirt and waving my pompoms with all the prettiest girls in
school. I also enrolled in an extracurricular ballet class, again at my
mother's suggestion. It didn't help me either that I was an excellent
cheerleader, a decent ballerina and the best student in home economics. I
also regularly did aerobics. My mom made sure I was enrolled at an expert
level and got plenty of exercise. The only advantage out of all this was
that before and after gym class I was able to get a good look at the girls
changing in the locker room. Some of my male friends who still talked to me
were actually envious. For that whole first semster of grade 11, I spent my
time at school in total humiliation and embarassment. It didn't stop at
school either. The local media got wind of my story and covered it. Soon the
whole town knew about me. I couldn't wait to get home and lock myself in the
house. Of course that wasn't pleasant either. I still had to do all the
housework, mom kept making sure I was acting feminine, continually
criticizing everything I did. Dad just treated me like a ditzy teeny bopper.
Ann still frequently made fun of me. I got no relief anywhere. Outside of
school I got a job as a salesgirl in a local women's clothing shop. I also
got a job as a waitress. Mom said I had to raise enough money to buy new
clothes and to help pay the large bill we had racked up due to my surgery.
Worse of all though, Ann found me a new boyfriend. This guy was not like
Leslie at all. He was 19 years old (I had turned seventeen recently) and he
was really big. Leslie had been my age and was just a horny little wimp who
had been lucky enough to go out with me. This guy was a muscle bound jock
who could have any girl he wanted and he wanted to go out with me. This just
drove home to me that I really was turning into a girl. Not just a pretty
girl, but a blonde knockout. I had incredible breasts. Between the hromones
I was taking, the aerobics, ballet, cheerleading and the starvation diet mom
had me on, I had an amazing body. I often got an erection just by looking at
myself in the mirror while I dressed, that was really weird. I was really
hot and now I had a really sexy man to go out with. Thanks a lot Ann. As for
Leslie, we still kept in touch. We mailed mushy sappy love notes to each
other. At my mother's suggestion Ann took several revealing photographs of
me posing in lingerie and sent them to him. Leslie was overjoyed and wrote
to me that he had hung them on his wall and would stare at them for hours,
pining away for me. Yeah right. Under all of this I was still a guy and I
knew what he was doing. He probably used those pictures when he masturbated.
Just what I had always wanted, to be the object of a guy's sex fantasy. Doug
(my new boyfriend) was really impulsive, just like Leslie. Unfortunately,
while I was able to fight off the smaller Leslie when ever he became too
aggressive, I was powerless to hold off Doug. To begin with, Doug was
satisfied to feel me off and to have me suck his cock. I really hated
sucking cock, the thought of swallowing cum just repels me. I just don't
understand those girls who do. My last girlfriend (before all this started)
was quite a cock sucker. She loved cum. The taste and smell of it drove her
nuts. Of course, not all girls were like this. I knew that Ann hated sucking
cock. But she thought it was alright if her little sister did it. Doug was
really hard to suck. His dick was much bigger then Leslie's and it filled my
mouth even before it even got hard. I nearly choked on it when it started
growing, filling my mouth and moving into my throat pinning my tongue to the
bottom of my mouth. Under those conditions I had to strain my cock sucking
abilities to make him cum. But cum he did. He said that I was the best cock
sucker he had ever dated. But I could only hold him off for so long and
eventually he got so lustful he just ripped off my skirt and panties,
finding my penis and testicles. I was terrified. After staring at my
genitals for five minutes he slapped me hard across the face. I started
bawling. He told me that he had not slapped me for being a boy who wanted to
be a girl, but because I had lied to him about it. Hugging me in his strong
arms, he comforted me. When I stopped crying, he told me that he would still
want to go out with me. Despite my penis I was still one of the hottest
dates he had ever had and he thought that dating me would be a real
interesting experience. So we continued seeing each other. Doug still wasn't
satisifed with cock sucking and soon introduced me to what he liked to call
the subtle pleasures of anal sex. Yeah right! I have never felt more pain
then when he shoved his massive thick cock up my ass again and again for the
first time. I just started crying because of the pain and begged him to
stop. All I could hear were his ecstatic shouts, at least he was enjoying
himself. Finally, I was relieved by the feeling of his penis firing cum into
my ass. Sometimes, when he wasn't in too much of a rush he would remember to
lubricate my ass before plunging his dick into it. Thank goodness for small
mercies, eh? After getting reamed up the ass I usually couldn't walk
normally all day. If it was done without lubricant, which happened often
enough, every step I took was painful and my butt ached liked crazy. He also
liked playing with my penis. Abusing it is more accurate. He liked to
squeeze it or twist it around. When he was in a rotten mood he would slap it
with a ruler. This of course was even more painful than the anal sex. In the
meantime, I was wondering where my parents were going with all this. They
had told me that they were doing all this so that I would not be some sort
of half female and half male freak. So they could decide whether I should be
a woman or a man. I would not be some sort of freak. I could not be both.
Yet here I had become some sort of female male. I looked like a red hot babe
but I still had male genitals and I wanted to be a boy. No, I was a boy and
they couldn't change that. Of course my parents thought otherwise. Dr.
Benson did not believe that at all. After all, at the beginning of the
semester I had walked around with my principle and I had told the entire
school, both students and staff, that I wanted to be a girl. Not only that,
but I had now taken a second boyfriend (Doug, Leslie was the first). Ann of
course threw in her usual set of lies about me crying over her shoulder that
I wanted to be a girl and that the only reason that I had persisted in
claiming to want to be a boy was because I was afraid of what everyone would
think. Mom was totally convinced I wanted to be a girl and was doing
everything to push me towards womanhood. As far as dad was concerned, I had
always been his darling daughter Karen deep down inside and that this was
who I should be. Ann kept making me more and more girlish as her own
perverse and draconian way of getting back at me for that panty raid. Soon
my first term of grade 11 was over and we had two weeks of winter vacation.
FOR Christmas BREAk, me and my family went back to our countryhouse. It was
the second Chrismas that I had spent in a dress. It was kind of a relief
since I didn't have to deal with the guys at school and could, with
difficulty try and forget about my girlish contours, my breasts and the
feminie clothing I was wearing. It was annoying because I had to cook the
massive Christmas dinner. But everyone enjoyed it, I had become a decent
cook. Then Leslie came over to see me. Him and me sang Christmas carols with
my family. Then when my parents and Ann went to bed, Leslie and I had a long
romantic night next to the fire place. At least it was romantic for him. All
I could think about was how much I missed my old girlfriend, the last one I
had. Two Christmases ago we had also spent a romantic time at her place next
her fire place. Now I was the girl and Leslie was where I should be. I
really missed my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up over a childish reason. I
didn't care, as far as I thought there would be plenty of girls to come. But
now I really missed her. Of course she was in my class and thought that I
wanted to be a girl. She was one of those who was hostile to me. The only
time she spoke to me was when she needed to or when she wanted to make fun
of me. She only went to the bathrooms I wasn't allowed into and changed in
the locker rooms I wasn't allowed into. I can't really blame her. I mean the
last thing she wanted was for her ex-boyfriend to see her naked. A lot of
the girls in my class noted the way I oggled them in the locker rooms. Most
of them wrote it off to curiosity. After all, I had told the whole school I
wanted to be a girl, it's not as if I " liked " girls anymore, or so they
thought. Anyway, me and Leslie stayed up most of night kissing and necking
each other. After Christmas, the time came to return home. My sister
suggested that I should break up with Leslie before I left. After all, I was
now going out with Doug so it would only be fair to him to let Leslie know
he could date other people if he wanted to As for me, I was just happy to
get rid of Leslie. The less men I had to humour, the better. I also would
not have to write anymore sappy debilitating letters to Leslie telling him
how much I pined for him. Sure enough, Leslie came over and I began to
repeat the break up lines girls had used on me in the past. I told Leslie
that he was a great guy and that I really cared for him, but that it would
be better if we would just be friends. We lived far off and I only got to
see him once a year. I told him I was dating other people. Leslie, to my
great surprise, agreed. He told me that he couldn't just treat me as if I
belonged to him and that someone as good looking and wonderful as me should
be able to enjoy herself. He confessed that he had also been dating other
people. He told me that before he had met me, he could never get a date. But
ever since gorgeous little me had gone out with him, the other girls in town
thought that he had some sort of secret talent or else why would someone as
hot as me date him. He thanked me for giving him a chance. I hoped that
would be it, but just then my darling sister walked in. " Leslie, " Ann
said, " how nice to see you. How are you doing? " " Well, " Leslie answered,
" your sister just broke up with me. " " Really? " Ann continued. " So she
told you then? " " Told me what? " Leslie demanded. " That our sweet little
Miss Karen Graham is really a boiy. " My mind screamed. Ann what are you
doing? My face went deathly white as I looked back at Leslie. He thought it
was a joke. Then when he looked at the terrified expression on my face he
stopped laughing. " Wait a minute, " he said, " you can't be serious. " "
See for yourself, " Ann responded. Before I noticed what she was doing, Ann
came up to me and lifted up my skirt, swiftly yanking down my pantyhose and
panties in one fell swoop. My penis and balls were there for Leslie to see.
I tried to push Ann away but instead my legs became tangled in my pantyhose
and I stumbled in my high heels and fell on the floor. I looked up at him in
terror as Ann smiled. " Farewell love birds, " she sang as she left the
house. Leslie looked at me with amazement. I slowly got up off the floor and
fixed myself up. I was alone in the house with Leslie and he was between me
and the door. I used to be bigger then Leslie, but he had matured and grown
while I had become more girlish and small. No doubt about it, he could beat
the tar out of me all he wanted. " Look, " I said, " you're obviously upset
and really pissed off at me. If you want to beat the crap out of me, I
understand, but please show some mercy. " Leslie took a step towards me.
Anticipating a blow, I flinched and raised my hands up to my face. Instead
he patted me on the shoulder and told me that he did not want to hurt me. He
just wanted to get away from me. He said that if I wanted to be a girl, that
was my business but that I had no right to fool him. He was obviously
disgusted. He said he just wanted to get away from me but he wished me luck
in the future, whatever my future would end up like. He headed to the door.
As he was about to leave, he turned around and warned me that if anyone in
town ever found out he had been dating a boy all this time, he would
personnaly hunt me down and pummel me. I had to go down on my knees in front
of Ann and beg her not tell anyone else about me. I was very grateful that
he had not beaten me up. We packed up the next day and got back to the city.
I was sinking into depression. The next day, Ann told me she had a really
big surprise for me. I groaned, that did not sound good at all. Towards the
evening, Ann told me that we were going out. Reluctantly I followed her into
her car. We drove downtown until finally we parked in front of an apartment
building. Ann led me into the building and up the elevator. She told me I
was really going to love what was in store for me. I was skeptical about
that. At last we reached an apartment door. Ann knocked on the door. I t was
answered by a young woman who looked around Ann's age. She was wearing a
bath robe. Smiling, she invited me and Ann inside. Ann told me to go sit on
a nearby couch. Idid so, remembering to smooth my skirt and cross my legs.
Ann told me that she would pick me up later and left me alone with her
strange good looking friend. When Ann was gone, her friend introduced
herself as Gina. Smiling, she stood in front of me and let her bath robe
fall down to the floor. She was wearing nothing but a short tight nighty
that barely held her ample breasts and revealed her long shapely legs. I
simply stared at her and I felt my penis harden. Gina shook her head as all
I could do was stare at her without moving. She glided on to the couch next
to me and grabbed hold of my hand. " Mark, " she said in a seductive voice,
" has it really been so long that you don't know what to do with a girl
anymore? Maybe your mother is right and you really have become a girl
yourself? " At first I blushed. She knew I was a boy. Then she sat up and
kissed me on the lips and placed my hand on her breasts. Now I understood.
She wanted me as a man. I hesitated for a moment. Was I still capable? Did I
really remember how to be a man in a relationship? I looked at cute Gina.
She smiled at me. Yes I did remember. In the next minute all the demure
girlishness that I had about me vanished as I literally jumped on Gina and
gave her an aggressive passionate kiss. I threw off my feminine garments and
let my long blonde hair down. All my feminine mannerisms that I had become
so used to after a year and a half vanished. I stopped talking with a high
feminine lisp and my old male voice came back. True my body looked totally
feminine and slim and my breasts were still in the forefront, bobbing
around. But I truly appeared like a man in a woman's bofdy. I really screwed
Gina and she loved it. I touched and felt every part of her great body and
made her tingle. Finally I rmmed my dick into her cunt and felt a rush of
ecstasy come over me. Gina let out a joyful cry as she climaxed, throwing
her head back in delight. The next day she served me breakfast in bed and we
showered together. Ann hadn't come by yet and I wasn't about to call her. Me
and Gina spend the day frolicking with eachother and screwing around some
more. I really scored with her. There was no doubt in my mind now. I was all
male. I desperately wanted to be a man and to stay a man. That evening, Ann
came to pick me up. Smiling, she told me that she hoped I had enjoyed myself
but that it was time to go back home. Reluctantly, I once again donned my
hateful garments. Sliding on the panties, bra, pantyhose, skirt and blouse.
Finally the heels. As we left, Gina told Ann that there was absolutely no
way I was a girl. Ann just smiled. On our way downstairs she reminded me not
to get carried away. I still looked like a girl so I had better remember to
keep acting like one. However, Ann noted, I didn't have to worry. Soon
everything would be back to normal and my gender confusion would be
resolved. All of this made me very happy. I would not be able to undo the
humiliation of the past year and a half or the unpleasant experiences. But I
felt confident that soon everything would go back to normal. The next day,
my parents took me to Dr.Short's new private clinic where she conducted
plastic surgery. She had apparently been getting quite a name in plastic
surgery and her reputation had grown immensely. I felt terrified when I saw
her, after all this was the woman who had given me breasts. I was however,
assured by my parents that I was here so that the doctor could normalize
everything. I was put under anesthetic and joyfully anticipated waking up
again with my breasts gone. When I did wake up, I was extremely dismayed to
find that my breasts were still there. As I sat up I felt a pain in my
crotch. A sudden panic came over me. I quickly felt my crotch and there was
a bandage on it. Why? I tried to call for someone but my voice was
different. I looked at a mirror on the night table next to my bed. My Adam's
Apple, which had not been very prominent to begin with, was gone. My throat
ached and so did my crotch. Dr.Short entered the room. " What did you do to
me? " I demanded. I was surprisded by the sound of my own voice. It was
higher and girlish. " Well, " answered Dr.Short, " I covered up your Adam's
Apple, that would be a dead give away you know. I adjusted your vocal
chords, giving you a higher feminine voice. Your parents didn't think it was
necessary since you spoke like a girl rather well as it was. But I convinced
them that it was safer and was worth it as long as I was covering your
Adam's Apple. And of course I removed your penis and testicles and
constructed a vagina in their place. " I let out a hoarse screech in my new
voice. " How could you! No! This can't be happening! " Dr.Short shook her
head. " Look kid, I just did what your shrink and parents told me to do. "
I couldn't believe it. " I hope you're happy, " she continued, " this
operation isn't reversible. " The next day she took off the bandages. There
it was, my new cunt. I broke down crying. Later on I posed naked in front of
a mirror. Staring back at me was my reflection. Now I totally looked like a
hot teenage girl. I had long golden hair. A shapely body. Large brests and
finally, a vagina. I spent the next week, the last week of my winter
vacation, at Dr. Short's clinic recuperating. My parents and Ann came to
stay with me. I screamed at them, but I just sounded pathetic with my new
voice. Mom told me to stop being abnoxious. I should have known this was
coming. I should stop pretending and realize that this was what I had always
wanted. I was now fully a woman and could expect to stay that way for the
rest of my life. I already knew that this was true. I guess I should have
seen this coming. But I really did not want to be a girl. I could not
imagine living the rest of my life as one. Dad comforted me and distracted
me with pleasant conversation. He was the best. When he had to leave, he
hugged me and said, " don't worry Karen, we'll take care of everything. "
I went back to school after winter vacation and it didn't take long for the
news to spread after the girls in the locker room got a good look at me. I
was all girl now. I did find out later that there had actually been a
contest among some of the guys to see who could be the first one to sleep
with me. I never responded to their advances, the thought of a penis sliding
into to me scared me more than anything else. One surprising good thing that
came out of all of this was that Doug dumped me. He said that he was no
longer interested in dating me, the novelty of it all had worn off.
I never did see Gina again. I now understood what Ann had been up to. She
had not done me a favour. My time with Gina was more like a condemned man's
last meal before execution. Now I would no longer be able to have sex with
women, I would be on the receiving end from now on. The thought chilled me.
School finished and dad announced that he had applied for a transfer to his
company and that we were now moving AWAY FROM Vancouver TO Baltimore.
So here I am now in a new country on the other side of the continent. As
far as anyone is concerned or knows, Mark Graham never existed. No one here
in Baltimore ever met him. To all the people who meet me now, I am Karen
Graham, a hot foxy teenage chick. I'm now finishing grade 12, I'm graduating
at the end of theyear. I don't know what to do with myself, my school marks
are horrible. Ann is now in college and wants to go into medicine. With my
education, I doubt I could get into any good university, let alone a serious
faculty. Mom tells me that I should get a secretarial job. I am not excited
by the prospects. There have been some people who have suggested that I go
into modeling. I do look incredible. I realize that my parents have turned
me into my own dream girl. I have dated a few men, you can only keep them
away for so long. I still haven't worked up the nerve to have sex with them,
although I have already realized that my penis is not going to magically
grow back and that I should enjoy myself with what I have. I know I can't
have any biological children of my own. Mom, dad and Ann do tell me that I
will get married and that me and my husband can always adopt. The thought of
me in a wedding dress reduces me to tears. I had always fantasized about
marrying a sweet attractive woman and living a great life with her as my
partner. Now I was going to be the sweet attractive woman who would make my
husband very happy. As for adopting kids, I could never possibly acxt like a
mother. My mom TELLS ME THAT I SHOULD RELAX AND ENJOY MYSELF, THAT I SHOULD
FACE THE FACT that this what I had always wanted.

top