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April 2004 - In Case You Missed It…. In American Sports - By Hugh Jass |
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Another baseball season is about to kick off, following a winter of discontent (Steinbrenner) subpoenas (Bonds, Giambi, et al), spending (The Yankees, Angels, and Orioles), and audacity (Pete Rose). Indeed the winter months have given us everything we could ask for to keep us interested in the boys of summer. But what does it say for the national pastime when sex, lies, drugs, and gambling have been the headlines to flame our interests? Sex Cleveland Indians pitching prospect Kaz Tadano has revealed that he starred in a gay porno movie back in his college days because he needed the money. He has apologized and offered his regrets, and has insisted he is not gay. His club and teammates have rallied in support, and have insisted he is welcome in the clubhouse. Somehow though, while I could overlook a gay teammate who had starred in a gay porno movie, it would bother me considerably more that a straight teammate had been in a gay porno movie. Another thing I find puzzling is that this guy has been a top prospect all his career, culminating with a spot on a major league roster. He couldn’t find one agent, booster, or sponsor to slip him up a few yen? Or at least do what my friends and I did when we needed money, found jobs washing dishes or stocking shelves. It will be interesting to see the reception he gets in such opponent-friendly cities such as New York and Philadelphia. Finally, this from Bill Scheft of Sports Illustrated: "…(Taz) didn’t say whether he was the setup man or the closer." Lies This past January the back page of that literary giant, The New York Post, featured a headline "Clemens is an ASStro!" The sportswriters and baseball fans in The Big Cesspool were furious because the Rocket Man had assured the New York Yankees and the entire baseball world that the 2003 season was to be his last and nothing would change his mind. After all the farewell ceremonies and curtain calls, he then opted to sign a one-year contract with his hometown Houston Astros. What amazes me is that it took so long for the supposedly shrewd New Yorkers to discover that Roger is a lying two-faced fraud. Boston fans have known this since his "I’ll never play anywhere else but Boston or Houston" statement, which he followed up with an exit for the big bucks in Toronto. Rog also claimed he wanted "to play for a contender" yet went to the Blue Jays instead of the Yankees, despite the latter offering money somewhat close to the Jays. Of course, he failed to live up to his contract north of the border, nor turning another fan base against him. Clemens again demanded a trade "to a team that is willing to contend" by which he meant the Yankees, who would now pick up the balance of his contract. So now he jolts the Yanks for a chance to pitch in his hometown and stay with his pal Andy Petite. Hey Yank fans, the folks in Boston and Toronto saw this coming soon after the Yankees were defeated by the $55 million Florida Marlins in the World Series. Now you, the faithful reader, have a chance to vote for your favorite moment in Roger Clemens career.
Send your vote now to [email protected]! He may be a first ballot lock for the Hall of Fame and one of the greatest pitchers ever, but he’ll always be a jerk and phony to me. Drugs Enough with the steroids. Steroids, Andro, Creatine, the works. It’s getting to be worse than the bad joke it’s been for the past few years. None of the records can be taken seriously any more. Barry Bonds hits 73 home runs, and they don’t even pitch to him. The number eight batters in some lineups have 30 HR’s and 100 RBI’s, numbers that would make them an MVP contender twenty years ago. If there is an asterisk next to Roger Maris’ record, what should they put next to Bond’s records? I challenge anyone to tell me with conviction that they don’t believe he has taken illegal substances. So is it any surprise that his trainer and friend Greg Anderson was charged by the federal government for his role in the BALCO case? The San Francisco based laboratory was charged with participating in a steroid distribution ring that provided performance-enhancing drugs to professional athletes. Two other players were questioned by the grand jury, Gary Sheffield and Jason Giambi of the Bronx Bombers. Giambi had a constructive winter, somehow losing five pounds but going up about four shirt sizes. Any pills in that regimen Jason? The drug policy of Major League Baseball is also a joke, when a player can test positive five times before facing a one-year suspension. The incentive to cheat is too high, with little chance of getting caught, and then only a slap on the wrist for punishment. Imagine you are fighting for the 25th roster spot as a reserve outfielder. You and your main competition are each capable of batting .270 with 8-10 HR’s and 30-40 RBI’s in a reserve role. So you pop a few pills and mix some powder into your Gatorade in the off-season, and now you are a .290/13-15 HR’s/45-55 RBI guy. The difference is making $300,000 in the bigs, as opposed to $60,000 with the farm club.
Gambling A rose is a rose by any other name. But what about Pete Rose, who seems to be a two-for-the price of one guy? On the one hand, you have the all time hits leader and the renowned "Charlie Hustle." On the other, you have someone who broke one of the most sacred rules in baseball, lied about it until he was blue in the face, finally admitted to what he had previously denied, and since then has acted like a spoiled brat that wants his dessert now, dammit. It seems like an eternity ago that Pete made an agreement with then Commissioner Fay Vincent to accept a lifetime ban from baseball in exchange for an end to the investigation of Rose’s gambling activities. Usually when someone plea-bargains, it’s to escape severe punishment. What could ever be more severe than a lifetime ban from one’s livelihood? Also in most pleas bargain cases, the perpetrator knows that more damning evidence would probably be uncovered in an investigation, and is willing to do almost anything to prevent that. My guess is that Pete only admitted to the tip of the iceberg, and knew he escaped something much worse. So now he’s back, releasing a book "My Prison Without Bars", in which he finally admits that, gasp! yes, he bet on baseball. I called the boys at NASA to see if they could run a few calculations through their supercomputer in an attempt to determine just how many sleazy things Mr. Rose has done in the past year. Unsure if this was even calculable, they referred me to MIT, where I was told that this was probably beyond the scope of any computation. Even though Chucky the Hustler now admits that he bet on baseball, he’s still adamant that he never made any calls from the clubhouse, or never bet against his own team. It took about 3 ½ minutes for two of his former runners, who have both proven to have told the truth every step of the way, to scream "liar liar pants on fire." To the astonishment of some and at no surprise to others, the 17-time all-star still maintains that he doesn’t have a gambling problem and has not sought help. The timing of the book release was also quite suspect, coming just a couple days before the announcement of the election of Paul Molitor and Dennis Eckersley to the Hall of Fame. Pete feigned innocence and offered an apology for raining on his former colleague’s parade, but it all sounded as hollow and insincere as his previous apologies. The book is obviously just a way to make a quick buck and hope to get sympathy from anyone he can. Here’s my take on what should be done. He should never be allowed to work for any baseball team in any capacity. But put the guy in the Hall of Fame. His numbers and career more than justify it. However as a condition, make part of his display in Cooperstown a testimonial to his gambling and the shame it brought on a franchise and career, so future generations can learn a lesson. Then the real Peter will be there to be seen by all, the great baseball player and the eternal hustler. But that’s just my opinion. Let your voice be heard! Send in your vote, should Petey be IN, or permanently BANNED from baseball immortality. Bud Selig has told me he will wait for the results of my survey, so your vote will indeed count. Send to: [email protected]
NHL The National Hockey League playoffs begin next week, and as usual are nothing more than a crapshoot. There are sixteen teams in the derby, and each team has as good a shot as the next to win. Every year a number eight seed knocks off a number one seed with the regularity of a police raid at a Bangkok nightclub. There is something unique that could take place this year, and that is the possibility that all six Canadian teams could make the tournament. Toronto and Ottawa will have high seeds in the east, Montreal is red-hot, and in the west Vancouver and Calgary have clinched spots, while Edmonton is scrambling for the final spot. One team that is not in the playoffs however, for what seems like the 50th year in a row, is the New York Rangers. Adopting George Steinbrenners philosophy of buying the best player for the highest price (with significantly different results), the Broadway Blueshirts traded for prolific and moody forward Jaromir Jagr in January, after an off-season of stocking up on free agents. I almost choked on my breakfast reading the newspaper about the 9-0 pasting they took in their first game with Jagr in the lineup. So who will win it? I’ll go with Detroit beating New Jersey in six games. The Wings have the most offensive depth, a nice blend of veterans and youth, and a goalie peaking at the right time. More importantly, the goalie, Manny Legace, is m-o-t-i-v-a-t-e-d. Starting the season third string behind Dominek Hasek and Curtis Joseph, he was promoted to starter after injuries to the others and basically asked to prove himself. What better way than to hoist a cup? Of course, now that I have picked them to win, it’s a surefire guarantee they’ll exit in the first round. March Madness Ahhhh…the NCAA Basketball Tournament. Exciting, popular, and unpredictable. A
bonanza to Amtrak, Greyhound, and the airlines, which get to transport frenzied zealots around the country in the name of "being
true to your school." Billions of dollars float around office pools. About five hundred acres of forest in Oregon are clear-cut to
provide enough paper for newspapers to carry stories about the tournament. There must be about four hundred hours of programming devoted
to the tourney in the various networks. And I couldn’t care less about it. I hate basketball, and I hate college hoops more than the
NBA. Look, if I want to watch grown men sweat in their underwear, I’ll watch Cool Hand Luke. Plus, I always get stuck with Penn or
Columbia in the pool. |
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April 2004 - In Case You Missed It…. In American Sports - By Hugh Jass |
