Click for April

April - a month when it rains, and flowers start to bloom, and families across the northeast bring their kids to DisneyWorld and blow two months salary so junior can play with an overgrown rat. But in sports, April is an exciting month in all four major sports (The day I count soccer as a major sport, will be one day sooner than I vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton). Baseball kicks off, basketball and hockey gear up for the playoffs, the NFL holds its annual draft of amateur talent, and best of all we have….

The Masters

Ok I know, golf isn’t an American sport, neither in origin nor exclusivity of where it is played. A mad Scotsman invented it around 800 years ago because he was too drunk and wild to play croquet with the "prim and proper" English. But I guess if you want to get right down to it, golf isn’t even a sport. Any activity that includes 80 year old men wearing plaid pants, argyle sweaters and funny hats walking around a lawn while paying some pimple faced kid $5 to carry his bags can’t be called a sport. Also, like the corporate jerk in the movie "Big" said, "It’s not a sport unless you sweat." Of course, he never tried to play 18 holes in Pattaya in April, but I digress.

The big story is that Phil Mickelson won, shaking an 800-pound gorilla (or was it a tiger?) off his back in the process. He also became only the 4^th player in Masters history to win by making a birdie on the 18^th hole on the final day of play. Another big story is the incredibly average play of Tiger Woods. Bogeys, double-bogeys, missed putts that should have been made, and shanked shots showed that he is human after all. And that is the key. Even though he is the world’s best golfer he can’t win every tournament, as some would expect. But in the end he will win more than his own fair share.

For me, the biggest story is that this year’s Masters was probably the swan song of Jack Nicklaus, not only from Augusta, but perhaps also from all competitive play. Citing the physical strains and the toll competition takes on his body, he has strongly hinted that this year was his last Masters. Then he went out and, while missing the weekend cut, shot a pretty damn respectable 75-75 for a two-round total of 150, only two shots off the cut. This was only one stroke behind defending champ Mike Weir, and other top players such as Darren Clarke. Hell, his score was better than that of Ian Woosnam, Nick Faldo, Colin Montgomerie, David Toms, and Thomas Bjorn. Better yet, compare his score with arguably the top two golfers playing today. Vijay Singh shot a two day 75-73, barely making the cut. Tiger recorded a first two day 75-69, but then went on to card another 75 on Saturday. All in all, a pretty respectable showing by the Golden Bear. Here’s hoping he returns again and again.

The NFL Draft

This year’s talent lottery will be known as the year of the wide receiver. I don’t know how many teams selected receivers or tight ends in the first two rounds, but it was a shitload. This was also the year of the Hurricane as six Miami Hurricanes were selected in the first round, a draft record. Curiously, no other Miami player was drafted until the sixth round, perhaps due to parole constraints. As widely predicted Eli Manning was the first overall pick of the San Diego Chargers, and then was promptly traded to the New York Giants. Eli joins big brother Peyton as a first overall choice, while dad Archie was a second overall pick of the New Orleans Saints what now seems like a hundred years ago.

It’s such a big risk selecting a QB with not only the first overall pick, but also any high draft slot. For every Peyton Manning there is a Ryan Leaf, and for every Drew Bledsoe there is a Rick Mirer. Consider 1999 when five QBs were selected in the first round. Two are stars, Donovan McNabb(2^nd) and Duante Culpepper (11^th), two are complete busts, Akili Smith (3^rd) and Cade McNown (12^th), and one is still on the fence, the first overall pick that year, Tim Couch. It was different years ago before free agency, when the only way to acquire a top QB was through the draft or a trade. But with free agency, a salary cap, and players frequently changing teams, there are other ways. When a team’s starter is injured, sometimes a backup can come in and play very well. No team can afford two highly paid quarterbacks, and must either trade one or lose him eventually to free agency. Tom Brady more than capably relieved Drew Bledsoe in 2000, making the latter available to the Buffalo Bills. When Trent Green was injured in 1999, Kurt Warner led the Rams to a Super Bowl title – exit Green to the Kansas City Chiefs. Last year when Warner hit the sidelines courtesy of a few knocks to the head, Marc Bulger came to prominence, and goodbye Kurt. What all these guys have in common is that they were low round picks, or in Warner’s case undrafted, and they just have what it takes to make the transition from college ball to leading an NFL team. Why pay big money to sign and train an unproven commodity? Let some other team do all the work, and when there is a situation on another team that makes a proven player expendable swoop in and make the acquisition. Remember that in 1991 Todd Marinovich and Dan McGwire were both drafted ahead of Brett Favre, and in 2000 three unknowns, Giovanni Carmazzi (3rd round); Chris Redman (3rd) and Tee Martin (5th), were drafted before two-time Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady (6th round), Marc Bulger (6^th) and Tim Rattay (7^th), all starters.

The early surprise of the baseball season seems to be the Texas Rangers. A last place team the last few years with A-Rod, they are now thriving without him, much the same as the Seattle Mariners did after he departed the rainy northwest. Here’s hoping the A-Rod jinx continues to his current team. Speaking of the Yankees, yikes, could they have had a more disastrous first month? Losing 6 of 7 to the rival Red Sox, and with a team batting average hovering in the low 200’s. But the first week in May saw a complete reversal, with the boys in pinstripes winning 8 consecutive games, and with the Sox losing 5 straight, brought the two teams back to dead even.

Last month I trashed two players. One, Roger Clemens, has since won his first 6 starts while passing Steve Carleton for second place on the all-time strikeout list. I never said he wasn’t a great pitcher, I just said he was an asshole. The other player, Barry "Incredible Hulk" Bonds, has only hit .480 with 10 HR’s and a couple hundred intentional walks. Ok, so he’s a great hitter, but you still can’t tell me those muscles are from eating his Wheaties.

I don’t know how it is where you are, but sadly we get zero hockey on television in Thailand, as ESPN Asia bites the big one. Of course, it doesn’t help that even in the US the NHL’s ratings are below NASCAR and slightly ahead of, gulp, bowling. Fortunately I have a friend who makes tapes of the hockey highlights, and even some entire games, and sends them to me FedEx. All sports have a slight difference in the quality of play between the regular season and the playoffs, but nowhere is the gulf wider than in the NHL. Even myself as a diehard hockey fan will admit that regular season games are somewhere between boring and painful to watch, with all the clutching, grabbing, holding, icing, and neutral zone traps going on. But come playoff time and it is the exact opposite. Physical and hard hitting, while at the same time great end to end offensive action. The only reasons the scores remain low are the physical play and the incredible goaltending. The two best series seemed to be the two all-Canadian matchups of Senators–Leafs and Canucks-Flames. Both series went seven games, and several of those tilts needed to be settled in overtime. Although the Leafs upended Ottawa, they were subsequently dispatched by the Flyers for the second year in a row. For the hockey mad fans of Toronto, this now leaves them without the cherished Stanley Cup for a 37^th consecutive year, the second longest streak (Chicago, 1961 is the longest). But almost as bad, they have the longest streak of not even playing in the Cup finals for the same amount of time, the longest streak in the National League.

Unfortunately, basketball is on television in Thailand. But that doesn’t mean I’ll watch it. The only thing I’m interested in are the Vegas odds of A) the Lakers winning the title, and B) Kobe getting off the hook from the sexual assault charges in Colorado. The odds seem to move together, and right now, neither looks to good for the folks in la-la land.

That’s all for this month. As always, send questions or comments to BangkokStrayDog @yahoo.com

May 2004 - In Case You Missed It…. In American Sports - By Hugh Jass